I am a fairly successful resolver, with 6 days of sticking closely enough to my 2011 plan to pat myself on the back publicly - figuratively speaking of course.
The most crucial resolution has been to avoid intoxication, which for me, sadly, means avoiding alcohol altogether. I say sadly because I would love to occasionally enjoy and maintain the two drink fuzzy buzz that is the reason I keep trying to ease back into drinking in moderation. But within weeks I invariably fall back into too frequently drinking myself into crappy tired overbuzz or anxious, cranky intoxication. Even after a fun night of party drinking, there's the inevitable edgy, restless semi-sleep, where I toss and turn and totally hate myself for my weakness and stupidity.
Last night I dreamt I was smoking and drinking, and in the dream I was despising myself for it, and I woke up in the midst of that self hatred and slowly realized it was a dream. All I could do was smile and enjoy the feeling of total relief and pure gladness that it had been just a dream. I am going to try to keep that feeling as fresh in my mind as possible, as a total and complete opposite to the dark and pathetic feeling I have when I wake from an alcohol inhibited, dreamless sleep to recall that I drank too much hours earlier, and in all likelihood, left myself a lot of things to do in the morning, including feeling half alive for the first few hours of daylight.
And for now, that's all I've got to say about that, being that I never thought I'd say anything about this personal and embarassing shortcoming.
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